It’s a Zombie Emergency! Your loved one has been bitten and infected by a zombie. Do you dismember the corpse before the zombie transformation occurs? Or do you wait until your loved one rises as an undead, brain-sucking maniac before lopping of its head? What will you do? What will you do?
In this classic episode of Zombie Radio Show, Jimmy Rudolph fields a question from a very nervous young lady about just this subject. The episode proved so popular among fans that we proudly feature it today. We also threw in a famously funny commercial, and one of the worst Louie Armstrong impressions we’ve heard in a long time. Check it out!
Zombie Radio Show takes a skewed, funny look at the world of the Zombie Apocalypse, asking the question “What if society didn’t crumble right away? What if we, as a society, had to deal with the Zombie Apocalypse?” We’d have to figure out for ourselves how to dispose of the bodies of infected loved ones. We’d have zombie-themed products and entertainments, much like the featured “Raceway Park” commercial. And of course, there’d be jazz. We couldn’t stop it. If it could survive World War II, it could survive the Zombie Apocalypse.
Zombie Radio Show posts a new episode every Zombie Monday, so get your undead monster on and give a listen. See for yourself why Zombie Radio Show is one of the fastest growing zombie-themed comedy podcasts staring Jimmy Rudolph so far this year. And don’t forget to follow Zombie Radio Show on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube!
Welcome back, zombie fans, to another sick, twisted episode of Zombie Radio Show! Featuring Bionic Zombies, Zombie Puke, and lost Kidneys!
It’s tough times at WZMB. The Times Square zombie kill-off has created a vast green fog that blankets Times Square, creating zero visibility and hazardous working conditions for the construction crews. Worse yet, the fog itself seems to be having an adverse affect on their ability to say anything other than “brains”, and an equally adverse effect on their appetite, making them unable to eat anything other than brains. To see for yourself, just click the thumbnail below to watch the video adaptation of our award-eating Zombie Radio Show!
Then there’s the Bionic Zombie now roaming the city. It’s bad enough they eat brains, are terribly infectious, difficult to kill, and look remarkably like loved ones (namely because they are loved ones) but now they can run 60 miles an hour and flip a car on it’s roof? Come on! Are we just trying to surrender the planet to them? Are we so uninterested in survival that we would stack the odds so completely in a zombie’s favor? What’s next? Inject them with dinosaur DNA?
Finally, many of you have heard about J-Bo’s wild night with Melissa, and you’ve sent in requests for a copy of the pictures. The answer is no. First off, J-Bo didn’t get release forms signed by any of the 154 participants, and although we could protect their identity and put black tape over their distinguishing characteristics, we’re not made of black tape, people. Finally, watching those videos… does something to you. It wilts a corner of your immortal soul to see such depraved debauchery. No, folks, we’ll keep these pictures for ourselves. And for every denied request, we will look at the pictures ourselves, even if we have to look at them a million times, and take your sin upon ourselves.
You’re welcome!
5 Minute Horror’s Cult Comedy Podcast “WZMB Zombie Radio Show”!
WZMB Zombie Radio Show
The Zombies have coagulated in Times Square– it was only a matter of time before the yahoos with guns started showing up. But what about the tourists, the protestors, the orphans and the puppies? It looks like it’s WZMB to the rescue– or at least it sounds that way, because it’s radio! How will Jimmy Rudolph turn away from the suffering and terror this time? Watch the special video adaptation of Zombie Radio Show below!
Zombies aren’t easy to kill. But they get a lot easier when rounded up in the most famous intersection in New York City! Tired of surrendering all of the tourist dollars to zombie-free Harlem, the NYC Urban Planning Commission picked Harlem’s pocket and funded a bottom up renovation of Times Square. The only problem– what to do with all the zombies? Well, problem solved, and it turns out, war isis the answer. With the famous Queens Slap Shots creating a withering cross fire aimed at the necks of all Times Square occupants, Times Square has become a hurt locker for anything undead. Unfortunately, it’s not so great for the living, either– but who invited them?
Meanwhile, the story of Melissa continues. Former producer at WZMB, Melissa is bravely fighting Zombitus, with a twice-daily infusion of fresh blood and the chopping off of her limbs. Jimmy catches her on a down day, but Melissa has an inner light that even Zombitus can’t dampen. In fact, were Melissa to turn nto a zombie, we would be in big trouble– because she would be the sweetest zombie ever! She’s ask for our brains, and we’d just sneeze ‘em out and give ‘em to her– she’s that adorable!
Be sure to check in every Zombie Monday for another episode of 5 Minute Horror’s cult-comedy podcast, Zombie Radio Show! You can also follow ZRS on Twitter, like us on Facebook and subscribe to our YouTube channel!
“Scares” is a new series of ultra-short films by 5 Minute Horror. This is our first– “The Deep End”. When a woman decides to take a dip in her 6 ‘ pool, she soon discovers that her terror is bottomless! This is why you should never swim alone, gang! Take a look!
It’s a terrible thing to see such youth and beauty go down the drain. But we don’t want you just swimming in terror– we want you drowning in it! Thanks for checking in!
Hey, Gang! Check out our latest promo in the award devouring 5 Minute Horror series “Scares”– “The Deep End”!
A beautiful woman takes a dip in a 6 ‘ pool, but her terror is bottomless! Starring the beautiful Lexi Portaro. Written by Bari Willerford, directed and edited by Ray Martin, “The Deep End” promises to be the kind of car wreck horror you’ve come to expect from 5 Minute Horror– you know what’s coming, but you can’t look away!
Enjoy!
Zombies swarm Amsterdam Avenue! Is there a sale on brains? With every purchase of a cerebellum, you get the medulla oblongotta thrown in for no extra charge, plus a synapse sprinkling on the cappuccino? Or maybe they’re just running from Harlem, like the rest of really white suburbia? Find out for yourself by watching the video adaptation of Zombie Radio Show, 5 Minute Horror’s cult comedy podcast. Click below!
What do you think, gang? Is it possible; Music that can explode your brain? Not counting Smashing Pumpkins, I mean? Is there something about the zombie brain that makes it particularly susceptible to exploding? Perhaps the lack of blood flow creates a vacuum effect in the skull, and the correct series of pitches cause the necrotic molecules to vibrate against each other, setting off a chain reaction that sends the skull plates flying. We don’t know much about science, but we know one thing– it’s messy. And sticky. Brains are very sticky. And they leave an aftertaste like slightly musty cheese that just stays with you. I guess what we’re saying is, brains are fine so long as they stay where the belong, but put ‘em outside of their place, and they’re just repulsive. The seat of our faculty, reason, and emotion, tastes like musty cheese. Any questions?
This has been a public service message brought to you by the sick creeps at 5 Minute Horror. Carry on.
Hey, gang! Check out this YouTube short featuring our own Tasty Jar in a stirring monologue that has stood the test of time as the greatest performance ever by a jar of sandwich spread. Enjoy!
Now, you’re probably asking “If you want to hear from me, why did you put me in a sound-proof room with a ball gag in my mouth?” We’ll get to that later. But stay focused! We want you to tell us what your favorite Zombie Radio Show commercial is. Take a look at the video collection below, and vote for your favorite commercial!
You can vote via Facebook, or via Twitter! Just give the number of your favorite commercial in your message, and we’ll tally the votes and announce the winner next Zombie Monday!
You know, Zombie Fans, there’s no such thing as a tragedy that doesn’t bring along with it a little opportunity. Drought brings opportunity for water companies, and mass murder makes moriticians massive millionaires. It stands to reason that the Zombie Apocalypse would create a new market for Zombie-related products. Sure, most of them are radioactive, but the long slow burning death of radiation poisoning sure beats the quick but horrifying death of zombies eating you alive, and possibly transforming you into a brain eater yourself.
While you’re watching the video, we encourage you to think ahead. It’s generally understood that the zombie apocalypse is coming. What products will people need for their comfort and survival? And remember, zombies aren’t the only bad guys out there. There’s also the asshole survivalists who shoot first, and claim you were a zombie later, just because you found the best parking space at the Home Depot.
But in the meantime, enjoy these little glimpses into Apocalyptic Capitalism. And if you find these ads inspiring you to create the next round of anti-zombie products– we’ll take our ten percent now, please.
Now, put the ball gag back in, and let’s get to work.
5 Minute Horror’s Cult Comedy Podcast Returns with Another Episode!
Why bother with all this bullet, machete, tear out a zombie’s eyes nonsense, when you can explode their heads from twenty feet? Chew Muscv, the new Harlem musical trend, has been clinically proven in street trials to take a zombie’s head off. Although Chew Music has no other value, and you shouldn’t listen to it if your life is not being threatened by a zombie, because it may cause embolisms in human brains, it has proven a spectacular deterrent to zombie attacks. Click the link below to listen to Zombie Radio Show Ep. 53 and get the whole story!
Chew Music has been responsible for the Renaissance in Harlem, according to Source Magazine. Formerly quarantined because of the particularly virulent species of zombie known as “Screamers”, Harlem has become the new center of culture, tourism and non-survivalist living in general. Residents are reporting rusty machetes, and children are taking the bus to school again, and actually returning home as well. Furthermore, sales are up in restaurants, clubs and crack, a sure sign of economic recovery. The Clintons have moved back in, and real estate prices have shot so high, blacks may no longer be able to afford to live there.
With such a discovery now reaching the mainstream, can other zombie head exploding technologies be far behind? Will we soon hear the strains of Zombie-Lethal Polkas, Zombie Paralyzing Country Western, and Jazz Zombie Knee-Capping? Time will tell, and so will 5 Minute Horror’s Zombie Radio Show!
